5 Simple Networking and/or Leadership Tips for the Shy

Earlier this week, I was discussing some techniques in increase networking effectiveness with an old school colleague. Jennifer is highly intelligent, well spoken and extremely articulate. She is also quite shy. As we discussed different tactics to increase her networking scope, it struck me that our conversation constantly shifted back and forth between tips for networking and tips for leadership. In fact, the more we discussed the more we discovered the points are interchangeable.

Following is a summary of the top 5 tips for Networking and/or Leadership for the shy.

1)   Be a good listener; encourage others to talk about themselves.

Being an active listener is one of the top skills of respected leaders.  Embrace your shy nature to listen before you talk. This technique also provides details and insights into what is important to the other person. Building your conversation on a framework of concepts and ideas that is important to the other person helps to quickly build a relationship and make the discussion seem more conversational rather than rigid.

2)   Get out of your comfort zone

Force yourself to participate in “small talk”, even if you don’t see an immediate advantage. Attend networking events sponsored by your local chamber of commerce or volunteer for community programs that will put you in situations where you need to talk in public or to people outside your normal sphere of colleagues. People will begin to see you as a leader both within and outside of your organization.

3)   Pre-event research

Be prepared. Shy people get nervous in situations they are not comfortable in. Have a mental list of current events, customer tid-bits or any other interesting facts to help break the ice or rescue a conversation if it starts to go sideways.  Doing pre-event research will increase your confidence level and help conversations flow better. Effective communication is a key attribute of all leaders, but nowhere does it say that you can’t do your homework ahead of time.

4)    Initiate an action

There is a limit to your networking capabilities and the ability to build trust in a group setting. Suggest meeting the person for a cup of coffee in an informal, less busy setting. Shy people tend to be much more relaxed one on one rather than in a large crowd. Remember step #1, so you have something to talk about.

5)   Exit strategy

Not every conversation, regardless of the preparation, goes as plan. In a networking event, you can always excuse yourself if they have lost interest or there doesn’t seem to be a connection. However, do so in a way that maintains professionalism and doesn’t give the impression that the other person was not important.

Shy people often avoid situations that take them out of their comfort zone; it increases stress causing them to typically under perform. Following these 5 simple tips you can successfully increase your sphere of influence in both the networking and leadership arenas.